drunkcyclist2

Words by Alex, Photos by Pete

Crew: El Pres, Slim, Troll, G, Stunt

Pub: Dunc, Ruth

Route: Bottom of Zag, Zag, Teggs, Leathers, Witches cottage, Hacked way lane, Chazza, Forest Chapel, Leathers.

Conditions: Cold, damp, miserable.

Even the most stiff upper lipped chap might now be getting mildy annoyed at the persistent rain, cold and general grimness of what is allegedly “Spring” with winter like conditions for yet another Thursday night.

Despite this a core of riders assembled at Backeddisbury lane for a forestish loop where the trails are generally well drained, and with even Teggs covered by low cloud – the route options are quite limited.

G arrives on time shocker! and what is this, the e machine is different, shiny Whyte and new. Lighter and more MTB like than the previous “Moto” style iteration, it is indeed a nice looking bike (and not that much heavier than some of our acoustic sussers – so very liftable over stiles!).

It’s the inaugural ride for the new steed, at the other end of the spectrum Pete is discussing replacement rear shock bolt(bush?) after a decade of service on the JPS special orange five, and Stunt shows the tie wrap around his main pivot bolt – which is badly worn but does not seem to be available as a replacement part (much threadlock used to hold it in).

Bike geekery over, it’s time to ride (too cold & wet to faff about), and we opt to to the Zag and head into Teggs on the main path given that there are not likely to be many dog walkers about in this weather.

On that score we only saw two hardy ladies who gave us a friendly welcome as fellow nutters out in the grim weather.

The Teggs descent was best tackled taking lines on the rocky bits – as anything remotely green was soft and slimy!

The Shrubberies is coming along nicely it seems – Doors and windows in evidence! 🙂

We drop into the Leathers and order food for later, then back out to do our Forest loop.

Some tree felling on the RHS of the track up to Witches cottage, not wholesale clearance, more some thinning (so far).

Some lung busting effort needed on Hacked Way lane (or some e assist!) before tackling Charity.

Regrouping at the top of Chazza, G asks how many are tubeless with Troll admitting that even with his new rear tyre he still has a tube, El Pres glances at his own rear tyre and curses loudly – he was thinking what is that big slug doing on my wheel…when it dawns on him that it is a black inner tube hernia of impressive proportions!

The tyre has come away from the bead (yet again) – No BANG this time, but a third identical failure from three new tyres is suggesting a root cause. However we need to get him to the pub, a short discussion opts for the simplest and quickest solution (it’s not a night to be faffing in the cold and wet). A plastic patch on the outside of the tyre held in place by two tie wraps.

With off road both ways, we opt for the main chazza descent (El Pres to walk the chunky bits) then road back from Forest chapel.

It survives charity, but the plastic is moving a bit, so a third tie wrap and some tyre pressure adjustment is made.

He makes the pub in gentle freewheel mode!! A classic tie wrap win (and it turns out these are holding in the hernia without the need for the plastic (which came out anyway).

Warm fires, complementary hot arancini (deep fried risotto balls), and some dry layers and all is good.

Chortling as “cashlow” Kershaw has a cold and dead phone – which = no apple pay, the tech changes but the moniker sticks!

It’s an Adnams IPL (we never work out what the L stands for) ale, artisan style food, and plenty of banter and gentlemens Philsophical discussions. Suspicions that Troll reads up on wikipedia on wednesdays in order to quote niche facts!

Northumbrian bagpipes are heard from the far side, and a vast improvement on the Rainow ukeleies! A win for Langley 😉

Dunc arrives to join the table, and Ruth not long after.

G manages to coax the i device back into life long enough to pay his main bill, but is tempted into a further pint not long after, and we will delight in having to cover his bill for him 😉

Definitely a night for a stiff whisky before venturing back out into the wet for a cold ride home (with extra glass in the tesco underpass for the Tythy boys).

El Pres has a spare tyre (courtesy of Ruth) which he opts to carry and venture home on the three tie wrap fix. Three rings later he confirms he got home on them!

Time for some strongly worded comms with Shwalbe marketing dept methinks!

Crew: TJ, El Pres, Slim, Troll, 3 Sheds, Bern, Dunc, Butty, McD, Stunt

Jacksonville: Doog, Croxy, Adrian & Biscuit + the Jacksonville hounds.

Route: Rainbow bridge ,Middlewood way to Poynton car park, Shrigley Road, reverse Chapel route to Moorside lane, up the quarry descent, veer right past the Mine cap, and down beavers creek to the layby, off road ascent to Dale top, parallel to the wall descent, chapel descent, Shrigley road, Jacksonville.

Conditions: Cool and breezy, slimy and wet trails.

Notes:

Another edition of the popular beer n pizza nights, this time hosted by TJ, with posh pizza’s and Dunc’s posh pizza oven!

With such a tempting offer, some country & western members join the posse – McD in suspicously clean kit and bike! Stunt is still on the semi fat steed with the KTM bottom pivot bolts still not sorted, and he’s now had a rear spoke go on the ride to the start!

Rapid transit to meet this weeks ride sherrif at the Poynton end, and the Butty takes us up into them there hills.

At the end of the Chapel track we are onto wet soft grass – plenty of mutterings about route choice as we struggle for grip (and leg strength!), once over the stream its actually easier going, until the sloppy bit at the top before the wall.

There is more to come heading up the quarry ascent – and only the ebike cleans this one. Finally we get some downhill action cutting into beavers creek past the mine monument. Quite technical – but good lines at the side with minium vegetation this time of year.

More sloppy slippy uphilling across the moor and over the ladder stile, the sheep watch half interestedly as we slowly close on Dale top.

Butty has to stop just short with pedal trouble, and again at Dale top – conflicting theories abound – cranks put on the wrong sides at the shop? but it seems that the pedals just don’t have a lot of thread and have worn badly. Eleccy tape is offered to help get some temporary grip, but a removal of washers gets one or two extra threads into the crank arm – sufficient to get him home!

WIth the many pair of red eyes glaring at us from that there Manchester, we take route one down to the lane (not that rocky – but uber slippy!), then Chapel descent and down the road back to Jacksonville.

Beers are waiting in the garden, dogs come and check us out, Dunc fires up his pizza oven, TJ gets ZZtop on the sound system , and we settle into the conservatory for the evening.

Croxy arrives avec G&T’s, Adrian with extra beer, and great to see Doog.

Topics of conversation included Gym etiquette, the obsession with being ripped by the youthful males of today and amusing names of yoga postions. All with plenty of southern drawl and quotes thrown in 😉

With Titanic plum porter on offer, and the appropriately named Woodford reserve bourbon to come, the AoE starts early, a pentagram of uber bad boys stay for TJ whisky and the last three rings come in past 02:30!

Great night – despite drizzly rides home, and fuzzy heads for some the next day.

We’re past the spring equinox now…

Words by Alex, Photos by Pete

Crew: El Pres, PTD, Croxy, 3 Sheds, Slim, Dunc, Butty, Stunt

Route: Top’o’Bull Hill lane, Tea rooms, Shining Tor, Across the Moors to Hooleyhey lane, Ewrin Lane, Smith Lane, Robin Hood.

Conditions: Cold with Strong Easterly wind, trails very soft in places.

Notes:

Having scouted out the Robin Hood the other week, its time to include it as a TNR destination, food is pre-ordered and a cunning route is cooked up to get us there.

At the meet point, the wind is already a talking point, there may not be any precipitation but the early March weather lion is waking up! It’s not going to be a night where we want to be stopped for too long, and with a very welcome arrival of Butty, and then Dunc (nursing dicky knee) we leave PTD to catch us up and head up the road.

A strong blustery headwind makes for tough riding, and being grateful for when the landscape provides any shelter, the long drag is one such relief, but turning the corner at the end for the last few bends to the tea rooms is full on nasty!

PTD has come via bottom of the oven to join us at the tearooms.

There is worse to come, as we will be really exposed on the ridge – and indeed care is needed lifting bikes over the gates & walls as they are acting like sails!!

Dunc’s knee has been fine on the Tarmac, but is less happy offroad, so he decides to head to the Hood via the lanes.

The rest of us enjoy wind assist up to Shining Tor (although even that can’t help with the six inch deep soft patches that stop us in our tracks!).

Wind really roaring up there, so lead riders are sent off to find the turn (and shelter beind the wall) – however they miss it – but luckily realise their mistake and work their way back to the main group.

It’s still very boggy at the top, but the wind has taken the moisture off the dead dry grass so it’s fairly good going (and with a serious tail wind).

Hideous noises like a strangled bagpipe can be heard over the wind – Stunt is on the tubby tired bike (with the full suss not yet back in action) and there is some serious brakepad contamination!!

He’s hoping that long descents will get them hot enough to burn it off (not over the moors it seems).

The windchill must be sub zero, so we release the front group to go for home so as not to wait for the laggards. At the gate to Hooleyhey lane separation is complete.

Lower down the wind is more bearable, and there is less assist on dead mans lane than hoped for, but even so we are all at the Robin Hood ten minutes ahead of our 8:30 cut off.

Pete has cunningly arranged our table to be in the back room, giving us maximum distance to R’Uke the Rainow Ukele group, who are singing away on the other side.

Boltmaker is excellent, and the food is pretty good too (and very reasonably priced) the only complaint being El Pres’s underdone batter on his fish.

Deep knee discussions (folk seem to know a lot about it!), the second barrel of Boltmaker not as good as the first (did it need time to settle?). Fun Fact from PTD – Shining Tor is the highest point in England this far north (ie nothing higher all the way to the south coast – or even Dartmoor/Exmoor). Some map geekery confirms that it’s also higher than Axe Edge too!

Butty has brought his Mocha shake to imbibe via his tube, with syringe, which he is a well practiced master at. NHS dis connectedness then becomes a theme with many examples.

Quite how we then got on to how Range Rovers are being nicked by boosting the keyless key signals and then reprogramming them I’m not sure – but there was little sympathy for JLR or the owners around the table!

A strange standoff then emerges with those after a fourth pint, vs those who can’t be bothered…in the end we pay the bill and reconvene in the beer garden to sample Shaun’s 63% rum. It’s powerful stuff, and very warming on this cold evening. We are told that a 40ish% version will be in waitrose soon…that does sound good!

It’s been a double buff night for sure, and many a nose is covered on the way home on the descents!

3 rings from Butty who has impressed with his determination to get back on the bike on a less than enticing route & conditions!

Bring on the March lamb!